Hungry.

Earlier this week I had the opportunity to drop off food packs and clothing packs with my team... I was immediately reminded of the weakness and frailty of humanity. We dropped off food to a man who lived in Paquis, a township next to Haniville that has no electricity or running water. Those who are sick require others to bring them food and carry water up the hill. It brought tears to my eyes. Seeing the man's frail body laying there gave me a new appreciation for the body I have. Later that day, we also picked up an older couple from the hospital. The man, who was 70 years old, has HIV/AIDS, TB and kidney/liver problems. They had been there for almost 12 hours, waiting to be seen by the doctor. Just seeing them made me think again about the fragility of the human frame. Seeing her love for him and care for him, again brought tears to my eyes.

Even more than this, playing with the little boys of Haniville was unbearable. I played with Sphe, Cepo, Sianda, Ngo, Mbali and many other children. Most of the boys just wanted to ride on my back as I ran around... dancing circles and circles through and around the other boys playing soccer.

Of all the boys, one stood out to me. Ngo kept following me and smiled whenever I looked at him. He would ask to ride on my back and was almost falling asleep. He could be no more than 5 or 6 years old. Whenever I asked if he was tired (nyikatele), he said "no, I'm hungry." He told me that he was hungry 7 times. I couldn't help but keep my eyes from filling with tears yet again.

I can't even imagine what it would feel like to be a mother and have a child crying for food. My heart desired to feed him, even though I'm not allowed to. I know that he lives in Haniville--even the nicest house is in need. He was so sweet. He made me briefly feel how it would feel to be a mother. But as soon as he said to me that he was hungry, I began to feel this deep feeling of regret. Why am I given the opportunity to live in a place where we can eat constantly while this little one is hungry most nights when he falls asleep?

For the first time this trip, I cried deeply. I cried for this child. I cried for the sick grandparents. I cried for the hunger. I cried for those who didn't know Christ. And I cried for those who know Christ, yet still fell asleep with no food and the pains of hunger in their bellies.